Enjoy where you're at!

So! I'm 25 and single. And completely thrilled about it. At least, that's what I tell myself and everyone else.

There is some truth to it. Most of the time, I really am thrilled to be single. For starters, let's be real here for a minute you guys, I'm just a baby. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing myself, let alone the idea of having to be someone's partner! Being single means that there's one less person to clean up after. One less person to have to consult. One less person to have to work with.... I think you get where I'm going with this. Basically, this means that I get to be selfish. 100% selfish.

I can do pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want... and there are no consequences. Well, none that have to do with MY "family" anyway. If I feel like going on a tour, I just put my things in order and I go! If I want to start a new business adventure, I just do it. There is no consulting with someone else, I just get to do what I want.

But then come the hard parts. I watch my friends and family canoodle (let's be real, you all know exactly what I mean when I say canoodle) with the love of their lives, and I can't help but think "man... I wish I had someone."

I just attended my cousin Kim's wedding. It was gorgeous. But more importantly, I paid attention to Kim. Kim is the girl that dated MANY MANY MANNNYYYYYY men/boys. The guys did everything they could to get her, but she had her heights set high, and waited and waited and waited for the right boy. Matthew (her now husband) really does complete her. He is her other half. The Ying to her Yang. They are so different in so many ways, but he loves her and looks at her like she... I dunno how to describe it exactly, but he looks at her like the stars and the moon and the sun and the sky all collided and blew up and he's just memorized by her. All in a good way of course!!!

I guess... I really do enjoy being single. But mainly because it's where I'm at right now. I'm only going to get being single and doing the single thing for a little while, so I really should enjoy the point in my life where I'm at right now. Which is being single. And living it up.

However, I do want to get married. I do want someone to love me. I do want someone to think I'm the  ying to his yang, be my other half, and just love me because I'm me. Not because of what I do, or think, or say, or act, but simply because he's fallen in love with me. Real love. Unconditional REAL love.

For now, I'll just wait. I'll enjoy where I'm at in life. I'll continue to pursue my dreams and my career (I'm TOALLY career driven right now), but when the right one comes along, I know I'll be ready to make changes. I know it's not going to be easy, but I'm looking forward to the anticipation of the future. Wherever, Whenever, and with (almost!) whomever.

Dear boy. I don't know you right now (or maybe I do and I just don't know it!?) I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm anxious. I'm waiting for you. I'm here. I'm hoping you'll see past all my insecurities, my doubts, my faults, my "issues", and that you'll come and join me in this journey. It'll be a wild ride, that I can promise you, but I want you. I've wanted you and I've been waiting for you. I'm not gonna put my life on hold waiting for you, so hopefully you're gonna be around soon... but just know that I really have been waiting for you. This may be a bit premature to say, but I love you, and I can't wait to start our lives together.

xoxo
The girl who says she doesn't want to get married, but secretly does.