SO! Sometimes,
randomly, you get an email. An e-mail that kind of blows you away. An e-mail
that makes you think back on an experience.
A little over a
year ago, I was a camp counselor for an a program called Time to Blossom. It's
a conference for girls 12-18. I was in charge of 10, 13 year old girls. They
were incredible girls and I tried my hardest to be their friend, to talk with
them, love them, encourage them and teach them. I always found myself helping
out in other aspects of the camp as well.
Assisting with
photography, talking with other girls, giving other counselors breaks, dinners,
DJ's, music, helping with our special guests... you name it.
All at the same
time, I was dealing with my own personal issues. I had just lost a best
friend... we were no longer friends. My brother had been hit in the eye with a
bungee chord and was possibly facing being blind in his eye. I was struggling
spiritually. I was going through a lot of hard things alone.
So most of the
time, I felt like I was neglecting my girls. I felt like I was a bad counselor.
I tried to be there for my girls, but I felt like I wasn't there enough for
them. I felt like I wasn't keeping tabs on them the way that I was suppose to.
In fact, it's still something that I kick myself over. I have yet to keep in
touch with my girls the way that I did when I was a counselor with a similar
camp. I just haven't done the things that I use to do and it frustrates me.
Fast forward. I'm
working so much that I don't have the time to be a counselor this year. I'm
bummed out, but it's just a fact you have to face as you get older.
I received an
e-mail from one of the directors of the program asking if I had ANY TIME to
come and be of assistance to them at camp in 2 weeks. But what really hit me
was this "Leavitt...I was just thinking how awesome you were last
year at Time to Blossom and how you stepped up when anything was needed. Plus
you took so many professional pictures and gave them to us. That was SO nice!
You were a real asset to our conference!"
It just kind of makes me think that I may
have done something right. That maybe I was being too hard on myself. That
maybe I really did make a difference. I stepped up where it was needed. I did
the things that were needed. I made an impression.
Somewhere along
the way, I made a difference.
While I was so
busy dealing with my own self, I guess I somehow was able to take care of
others around me. I feel like it was an out of body experience because I was
just so focused on taking care of my life that I didn't realize I had gotten
outside of myself and had taken care of others.
So, I guess the
lesson I learned here, is that even when you think no one is looking, someone
is looking. Someone is always watching. And when you think you're not making a
difference, that you're just pulling your own weight, someone is watching.
You may never
know it, but even the smallest things make a difference.
<3 the girl
who made a difference and didn't even know it <3
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